can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize