I look better un-naked...
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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