At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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