...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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