i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize