Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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