Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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