i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize