My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize