Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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