So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Its about making memories worth repressing
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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