Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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