Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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