So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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