i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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