You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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