Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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