My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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