Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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