he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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