I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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