Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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