wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize