I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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