I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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