I don't usually arrange sex via text message
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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