too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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