the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
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In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
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My day in three words: secret purse cake
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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