The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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