so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize