and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize