Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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