lets start a swedish sibling band together
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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