this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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