My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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