Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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