I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
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I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
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