I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I can't put those talents on a resume
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize