That's when you crack a 10am beer
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize