May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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