90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
you mean i was at the winter classic?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize