I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
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Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
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how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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