Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize