You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
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when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
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Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
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