The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize