I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize