I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
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He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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