Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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