after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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