We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize